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![]() That dream was far different from my fantasy where I’d show up to school naked and the entire varsity cheerleading squad would fawn over just how ginormous I was. It reminds me of the recurring dream I had in junior high where I’d show up to school naked, and everyone would double over in fits of laughter. I hustle down the tarmac, and when I turn into the aisle of the plane, all eyes are on me. “Have a nice trip.”Ĭlearly, this is code for get the hell out of my face. “This is a nearly full flight, so take the first seat you can find.” The machine between us beeps, and she hands my ticket back to me as I silently curse the fact I didn’t book an airline that actually assigns seats. Ironic, right?” I don’t know why I’m making excuses to this woman. Okay, so humor isn’t immune from her sour mood. “You’re not even wearing skinny jeans, sir.” The woman looks me up and down, unamused. I injured myself trying to get into my skinny jeans,” I say breathlessly, my lungs still on fire from my unexpected morning run. I hand her my ticket to scan and give her my best apologetic smile. Without so much as a word, she holds out her hand, palm up. The woman guarding the door at the gate looks down at her wristwatch and raises her eyebrows, silently scolding me. In true Midwest hospitality, the agent on the other end of the line informed me that, “We can’t hold the plane for you, but I’ll call the gate agent and see if they can stall closing the doors until the last possible moment.” I went so far as to call the Southwest Airlines desk at the Kansas City Airport from my taxi, letting them know I would be there before takeoff, but depending on the security line, I would be cutting it close. I’m likely the reason the entire day has started off with a delay. Either way, it doesn’t matter because, at this moment, she hates me. ![]() Her glare pierces right through me, and I can’t tell if she’s annoyed or if that look is just permanent resting bitch face. The woman is starting to close the door to the tarmac but notices me moments before she shuts it. ![]() My brother Chris will string me up by my balls if I’m not there for tee time later this morning. “Hold the plane!” I beg in my final sprint toward the Southwest Airlines gate agent, waving my ticket in the air. And then all of my muscles tense simultaneously, and it’s almost euphoric.īecause the radiant woman before me finally comes into focus. ![]() My breath is short and fast, and it all hurts so good, and my body aches from the incessant pounding this morning. I send silent prayers above.ĭear, God, please. I quickly wipe at the sheen of sweat building on my forehead. This moment will not end before it even begins. I swallow hard, doing my best to keep it together. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath as I lick my lips and gasp for air. My legs quiver and the harder I go, the more I feel like my body is going to give out from underneath me. Pull your shit together, Jeff! This isn’t like you. I can feel my heartbeat in my head all the way down to my toes, and I know that if I don’t get there fast, I’m going to explode. It’s the BIRTHQUAKE cover reveal day and I am beyond excited to share this with all of you! It feels like I’ve been sitting on this secret forever!! Isn’t she a beauty?! And because I’m over the moon right now, I’m sharing the prologue with you now!! Read on for all of the hilarious awkwardness of Jeff and Henley’s “meet cute!”Īnd without further ado … here’s a sneak peek of the Birthquake prologue, just for you!īeads of sweat race down the back of my neck and adrenaline pulsates through my veins.
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